Blackadder & Baldrick - image copyright The Princes Trust

Update: The Prince’s Trust charity have confirmed that this sketch will NOT be broadcast on television. I will endeavour to locate the full script and publish it here on Blackadder Hall.

A new Blackadder sketch written by Ben Elton and starring both Rowan Aktinson and Tony Robinson was performed last evening at a special charity gala event “We Are Most Amused” in aid of the Prince’s Trust. The 13 minute sketch was all about the banks, bankers and banking crisis.

In the sketch, Rowan played the role of Sir Edmund Blackadder, chief executive of the Melchett, Melchett & Darling bank. While Tony was Sodoff Baldrick, Blackadder’s gardener.

In the sketch, Sir Edmund was called before a parliamentary inquiry into the banking crisis. The woman chairing the inquiry was played by Miranda Hart (from Miranda and Call the Midwife), with her deputies played by Helen Lederer (Absolutely Fabulous) and Sanjeev Bhasker (The Khumars at No42).

Here’s a couple of short clips:

Below is a sample of the dialogue (Source: Telegraph.co.uk)

Blackadder: “The task of this inquiry is to identify those responsible and if necessary to apportion blame. To help I would like to call a witness to the inquiry. I would like to call my gardener… Mr Sodoff Baldrick.”

Enter Baldrick in grubby overalls.

Madam Chair [to Baldrick]: “I’m sorry, could you tell me your first name again?”

Baldrick: “Sodoff.”

Madam Chair: “Well, I was only asking. Your witness, Sir Edmund.”

Blackadder: “Thank you, Madam Chair. Before we begin, Baldrick, kindly assure the inquiry that you are here of your own volition.”

Baldrick: “I can’t do that, my lord.”

Blackadder: “Why not?”

Baldrick: “I don’t know what ‘volition’ means.”

Blackadder [long-sufferingly]: “Did you come here on your own initiative?”

Baldrick: “No, my lord. I came on my bike.”

Madam Chair: “Why is the witness calling you ‘my lord’, Sir Edmund?”

Blackadder: “Because I bought a peerage at the parliamentary gift shop on my way in. There’s a selection of honours for sale next to the Big Ben snow globes. So, Baldrick…”

Baldrick: “I wish to address the charwoman!”

Madam Chair: “I’m afraid she’s busy polishing the Speaker’s gavel.”

Female deputy chair: “Doesn’t Mrs Bercow normally do that?”

Madam Chair: “Yes, but not this morning. She’s got an FHM calendar shoot followed by a meeting of Attention-Seekers Anonymous with Mrs Mensch and that mad cow that went into the jungle. Don’t you follow Twitter?”